So I need to preface this by saying I haven’t faced this fear…yet.
Oh growth mindset…
I recently read that FEAR stands for 2 things:
1. Forget Everything And Run
2. Face Everything And Rise
My immediate thought was of course I want to do number 2. Of course I want to rise. That is the whole point of this blog and it’s what I’ve come to believe is my path to happiness.
But “forget everything and run”…well that’s what running was for me.
It was a time I could just live in the moment. Just Run. And be social. I didn’t really enjoy running alone–it seemed like too much work. But when I ran with people it was fun. We talked and talked and talked. The kilometers would fly by almost without noticing. Almost.
I miss running. I miss the people. I miss the exercise. I miss how it made me feel.
So why am I not running?
I could give you a whole host of excuses:
– I had a foot injury. Well 2 foot injuries
– I don’t have time
– I’m too out of shape now to start
– There’s no one to run with (that is truly at MY level–ultra low right now)
– It’s too damn cold
But the real reason? I’m scared.
I’m scared I’ll fail. I’m scared that I’ll suck at it.
So looking at my reasons above I can truthfully say:
– My foot doesn’t hurt right now.
– I could run with the toddler in the chariot at nap time (ok I don’t really want to push a stroller when I’m just getting back at it but it’s an option)
– I could start slow. Intervals. That’s how I started before.
– I have clothes for cold weather running. And I could always buy more 🙂 (A new SAIL just opened up close to my house…so wonderful and so dangerous!)
– Maybe I need to join a running group.
I loved my old running group. Loved it. But we moved so I can’t go there. So here is where I have conveniently set up my road block. I don’t want to run alone…but maybe I should. I have heard how people love to run alone…how they love how it makes them feel. But I am not them. I am me.
I have a choice: leave this at a stalemate or do something about it.
Clearly I have to do something about it.